You should still go and talk to them both to try and make certain.
[Even if it's not a foolproof plan, if those two know Steve and his history the best out of anyone here, then they're most likely to notice if he's missing something.]
[Well, that certainly doesn't give him much encouragement, but it's also pretty much as Bucky as Steve can expect. He almost smiles, even though he knows the man wouldn't appreciate it.]
Thank you for worrying about me. You don't have to, and I'm glad you did.
[ As much as he keeps trying to connect to the people in Riverview, it always feels like he's just out of reach. Things keep happening, rifts keep appearing, and when it isn't a mission, Steve feels helpless against the ever-growing distance. ]
[ Steve asks honestly, with no sarcasm or bitterness to be found. When it comes to these questions, to people, he believes in being as direct as he can be, which might be too open, but he hasn't learned that yet. ]
What if I want to be your friend? Does it really bother you that I'm not him?
[ He can't help but frown at that one. Not because of Bucky, really, but because of his own history. ]
Am I that easy to trade out? Before I used to be one of a kind. The only one. It used to be the reason I was needed, because there weren't any others like me.
It's not that. Just... maybe you might tell me a story about your childhood, and maybe I might not know if the same thing happened for the other Steve. I want to keep you both unique, not make a mess of the few memories I actually have.
[He's not explaining this well and he's clearly just offending Steve, messing it all up like usual.]
[ It's a knee-jerk answer, followed by Steve lowering his gaze as he realizes what he's doing. ]
Sorry. You don't have any reason to want to know me. It must be hard enough trying to figure him out without an intruder taking up the space.
[ To Bucky, he's the copy. The fake Cap that shouldn't be there. Steve looks to his wrist, to the spot for the brace that powers his energy shield, wondering how true that sentiment really is. Maybe a lot of the old heroes felt that way when he came back. He never did ask. ]
For what it's worth, I wasn't trying to replace him. He's important to you. Memories like that can't be exchanged with substitutes.
He's not actually trying to offend Steve, and he doesn't mean that they're interchangeable, he's just uncomfortable enough trying to get to know his own Steve without another one muscling in too.
It's not fair on either of them.
He backs up a step, eyes sad.]
I know you weren't. Just do yourself a favour, find someone less-- find someone else to be friends with.
[ It's talking to that other Tony all over again. You just don't get it, Steve. You don't know them. There's a heavy voice in his mind that keeps telling him that. Riverview might be a place for change, but what is that for a man that only represents the past? An old relic everyone would be happy to move past?
He knows that Bucky is still searching for his friend. In the broken pieces of memories, he's trying to find something important, more important than anything else. Steve raises his hands, palms facing out, as Bucky backs away. ]
It doesn't work that way. You know that. But I don't want to hurt you any more than you want to hurt me. Honestly, I don't know how much of the past we might share. But I do know that even if we have the same name, he's gonna be a lot closer to you than anyone else. You'll feel it. The memories, they're important. I get that. But even without them, you'd find your way back. And you'll get past all the substitutes in the world to do it.
[He's pressing too hard on the wrong buttons now. Because Steve is that important to him, but he doesn't feel like he should be, not yet. It's just a tangled mess of identity issues and he isn't nearly close to working through them all yet.
This time, when he turns away, he does stalk off with his back rigidly straight even if Steve calls for him to stay.]
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[Even if it's not a foolproof plan, if those two know Steve and his history the best out of anyone here, then they're most likely to notice if he's missing something.]
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They've both got a lot on their plates right now. It's my problem. I'll figure it out.
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[Blunt and unimpressed.]
How're you supposed to figure out your own memory loss?
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I'll think of something.
[ Of course he doesn't know how he'll manage that. ]
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[Apparently he was wrong.]
Talk to them or don't, it's not my problem.
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Thank you for worrying about me. You don't have to, and I'm glad you did.
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[He absolutely was.]
Forget it, I should go.
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Don't go.
[ For once it's a gentler, cautious request. He shifts his weight, unsure of what he can say to Bucky to reach him. ]
Just... for a few more minutes. I haven't talked to you lately.
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I don't have much to say.
[But he's not arguing, he'll stay for a bit.]
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[ As much as he keeps trying to connect to the people in Riverview, it always feels like he's just out of reach. Things keep happening, rifts keep appearing, and when it isn't a mission, Steve feels helpless against the ever-growing distance. ]
I just- want to know you're here.
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[There's no reason this Steve should want to know he's anywhere, not when he has the Bucky that he actually knows here in this town.]
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You really think I can't tell you two apart? I've known him for years. Longer than anyone else here.
[ Does that matter to him? Probably not. Steve wonders if anything he says really makes it across to the people he speaks to anymore. ]
It's all right. If I'm holding you up, you can say so. I just thought we could be friends too.
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I don't even think that I'm friends with my Steve.
[So what makes him think that he has a chance?]
I don't really have friends.
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[ Steve asks honestly, with no sarcasm or bitterness to be found. When it comes to these questions, to people, he believes in being as direct as he can be, which might be too open, but he hasn't learned that yet. ]
What if I want to be your friend? Does it really bother you that I'm not him?
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[He appreciates that Steve is being so blunt, it makes it easier somehow.]
I don't remember everything about him, I guess-- I don't want the two of you to get mixed up in my head.
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Am I that easy to trade out? Before I used to be one of a kind. The only one. It used to be the reason I was needed, because there weren't any others like me.
Now I'm the old tech.
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[He's not explaining this well and he's clearly just offending Steve, messing it all up like usual.]
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[ It's a knee-jerk answer, followed by Steve lowering his gaze as he realizes what he's doing. ]
Sorry. You don't have any reason to want to know me. It must be hard enough trying to figure him out without an intruder taking up the space.
[ To Bucky, he's the copy. The fake Cap that shouldn't be there. Steve looks to his wrist, to the spot for the brace that powers his energy shield, wondering how true that sentiment really is. Maybe a lot of the old heroes felt that way when he came back. He never did ask. ]
For what it's worth, I wasn't trying to replace him. He's important to you. Memories like that can't be exchanged with substitutes.
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He's not actually trying to offend Steve, and he doesn't mean that they're interchangeable, he's just uncomfortable enough trying to get to know his own Steve without another one muscling in too.
It's not fair on either of them.
He backs up a step, eyes sad.]
I know you weren't. Just do yourself a favour, find someone less-- find someone else to be friends with.
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He knows that Bucky is still searching for his friend. In the broken pieces of memories, he's trying to find something important, more important than anything else. Steve raises his hands, palms facing out, as Bucky backs away. ]
It doesn't work that way. You know that. But I don't want to hurt you any more than you want to hurt me. Honestly, I don't know how much of the past we might share. But I do know that even if we have the same name, he's gonna be a lot closer to you than anyone else. You'll feel it. The memories, they're important. I get that. But even without them, you'd find your way back. And you'll get past all the substitutes in the world to do it.
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[He's pressing too hard on the wrong buttons now. Because Steve is that important to him, but he doesn't feel like he should be, not yet. It's just a tangled mess of identity issues and he isn't nearly close to working through them all yet.
This time, when he turns away, he does stalk off with his back rigidly straight even if Steve calls for him to stay.]