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[ That question makes him frown. If he didn't have coffee in his hand, he might cross his arms. ]

Are we negotiating right now? Is this how you've been doing things? Maybe that's your problem, Tony.

What do you want to do now? It's a question. Only you can answer it.

[ maybe that is his problem. maybe he is the problem, and that would make sense wouldn't it? even when he tries, even when he is willing to bend, or willing to fight, it always ends up the same. there has to be a common denominator somewhere, that was just the way it works.

but at the same time, it isn't a question that Steve is asking, not to Tony. so when Tony looks up at him, the hurricane of hurt and guilt and trust, he doesn't try to hide the hope or affection either. doesn't quiet the undertow of love that is always there, curled around his ribcage in waiting.]

My answer hasn't changed, Steve. I want to try. I want to try to make this place safe, I want to try to be a better person, I want to try to be worthy of the affection that is given to me. I want-- I want to try at whatever you are willing to give.

[ Tony wants a lot. It's a mess of different goals and scattered fragments of wishes, and Steve thinks that this probably is really what is holding him back. He wants so much -- and they are good goals, good dreams -- but even he can't direct them all. He sighs, relenting a little in sympathy, because he knows that frustration. Tony just had his world turned on end and he's reeling, grasping at whatever straws he can and just hoping he can piece them together. ]

You're going to need a plan. And you're always worthy of affection, there's no price placed on that. We all want to be better, but that's not really what I'm asking, Tony.

Maybe instead of asking what everyone else wants, you figure out what it is you want first. You asked me before to try, so I'm asking you now: Try what? You can't build a bridge without a clear picture of what you want it to look like, and if your pictures so far have been trying to satisfy everyone else, you probably need to scrap those and start over.

I'm willing to work with you on that.

Edited 2017-08-23 00:58 (UTC)

I guess throwing myself into the mess and hoping for the best doesn't count as a plan, huh?

[ and maybe Steve has a point; he spends a lot more time looking out, looking at the world and the problems that need to be solved and the ways that he has to make up for things than he does looking at himself and what he wants. it is easier, really, to look outward when you feel like you have something to prove.

there isn't anything to prove here. not with Steve.]

You know, no one has asked me that question, honestly asked me that, since I was five. [ not anyone who actually cared about the answer at least. with honesty in their voice and not exasperation or a wanting of their own. ] But working with you? That-- that is part of the picture I want yeah.

Well, that part you already have, Tony.

[ The warmth and ease in Steve's stance is back. He's talking to his friend, with no conditions or expectations between them. There's no competition to win or pressure to meet some better, greater potential for the moment. They are discussing nothing more than just moving forward, and Steve can answer honestly without trying to piece together what Tony might or might not mean. ]

I'm with you. Whatever it is you want to do, you can tell me and I'll help in whatever way I can.

[ whether he is consciously aware of it or not, as soon as Steve's posture starts to ease, to open up, Tony begins to relax. there is still hurt in the curl of his mouth and fatigue in his eyes, but he feels less off kilter when he can just be like this. it is easier to be honest when he knows that, no matter what might get thrown at them, Steve is at least willing to work with him.

the smile he gives Steve is grateful, tired but grateful. ]

Well, that's a decent start I think. I-- you know I really did miss having you at my side Steve. All that time-- I don't think I was as good as I could have been.

You're good enough as who you are, Tony. No matter what happens, you are who you are, and you decide what that is.

[ Steve might not agree with Tony on a lot of things, maybe they disagree about more things now than in the past, but he does still believe that Tony is the same good man he's known for years. He chuckles, cocking his head at the way Tony describes them. ]

Having me at your side, mm?

[ this is an old argument for them, one that Tony is sure that they will never really agree on, so Tony is more than happy to have a way out of telling Steve he is a little bit wrong without actually having to say it.

the fact that Steve manages to make him laugh, a burst of honest amusement, is only secondary.]

Oh I see how it is, you want me to be the trophy side kick at your side. It's the shiny metal suit, isn't it?

[ Steve knows Tony won't necessarily agree with him, but that is something he has to find for himself. In the meantime, he's happy to be the friend Tony needs, the hand on his shoulder that can offer his support. ]

Well, if you want to lead, I don't mind. But are you sure you're ready to do that? Do you want to?

Steve, I like being a team.

[ it's so easy to say, that truth. it spills out of him without hesitation, no thought or second guessing or anything; that is something that Tony wants. no one leading the other really, just-- a partnership that can stick together through what ever the universes might throw at them.

he gives Steve a smile over his coffee.]

Besides, not sure you could keep up if I was leading.

I like being a team too. You know that.

[ But teams need a leader, Steve knows that. Still, he likes the idea of working together, and after talking to Bucky, he thinks that maybe they don't need a team as much as they used to. It's something Steve is getting used to. ]

Are you really questioning my ability to keep up with your tin can?

Mmm...

[ it isn't a dismissive noise, it is Tony agreeing, and the look on his face makes it clear that he enjoys being a team as well. but the light that comes into his eyes with the easy banter is flaring bright, and it is hard not to slip into easy teasing despite everything else.

shrugging and leaning back, he continues to fight the smile on his face while he raises an eyebrow.]

Well I know you can't fly, so there is a point in my favour. Also, what if I was just talking about you keeping up with me in general? I mean, I know I can waltz better than you, so...

So you think you have better footwork than I do.

[ Oh, Tony, Steve takes your challenge. He smirks, keeping the expression mild but still clearly there. His voice is soft, pitched low just to add to the teasing effect. ]

Name the time and place, Tony. I can keep up with you any day. And I don't need a machine to help me do it.

[ He manages not to laugh, but only because he's Steve. ]

Do you want to go dancing?

[ that just makes Tony laugh, bright and easy as he raises an eyebrow and matches Steve's barely there smirk.]

I have it on great authority that my footwork is amazing thank you. And I dunno, pretty sure a walker counts as a machine there, Steve.

[ it is nice, to slide easily back into this. even if there is more of an edge, something just beneath the surface of the words that makes Tony's blood burn a little more. something a little more wanting.

Tony pretends to think about that for a moment before nodding and holding out a hand to Steve, perfect etiquette in all the lines of the gesture, even if his eyes are shining with laughter.]

Would you care for dancing, Mr. Rogers?

[ Steve raises his eyebrow ever so slightly at the taunt, especially when it is followed by Tony's hand held out, offered to him like he's on the ballroom floor. Or performing, which for some reason strikes Steve as an amusing image in itself. He pauses, then takes Tony's hand, tightening his grip as he pulls him forward sharply, jerking him to pull him off balance, and then steps in so he catches him. ]

Uh-huh. I can see that footwork. Sure, Tony, let's go dancing.

[ There's a hint of a purr in his answer. Just to cover up his amusement. ]

[ reflexes are the only things that save Tony from crashing completely into Steve's chest after the blond takes his hand and pulls. it wasn't that he didn't expect the tug (he didn't), but rather-- the way that it made something in him shake loose. pulled him back even more from the swirl of thoughts that were anything but kind and made him focus completely on Steve.

it was probably going to be terribly embarrassing later, when he though back on how he nearly choked on his laughter, breathing caught behind his teeth, as he rights himself in Steve's grip.

the way Steve all but purrs his name really doesn't help anything.]

You... you trying to sweep me off my feet here, Steve? Or are you trying to distract me so my superior footwork suffers? Because if that is so, might be cheating.

[ look at that, he nearly keeps himself composed too. ]

Mm, so you're insulting my abilities and calling me a cheater. That's not how to impress someone, Stark.

[ Steve smirks, his eyes fixed on Tony's like a hawk catching sight of a running rabbit. He holds Tony against him, testing his composure, and while Tony manages to keep his feet, Steve decides he's getting away with far too much. ]

It seems like you're having some trouble, Tony. Did you need help?

[ Bending, Steve suddenly catches Tony's legs with one arm and hoists him up into his arms. ]

I don't have to try. If you're asking for it, this is easy.

[Tony is fairly sure that there is a point in which you are supposed to throw in the towel in a sense, that you are supposed to do something like admit defeat and maybe not push your lick as much. granted, when it comes to things with Steve, Tony isn't sure that he has the same understanding of boundaries in that sense.

so rather than back off, he grins as charmingly as he can manage while still pressed close (and god, why does he feel like prey right now?) and leans back a little while he regards Steve.]

Do I need to impress you more, Steve? Because I gotta say, I haven't even started on my more impressive abilities.

[ there is more teasing and taunting to be had, but then the world is out form under him and--]

Jesus-- Steve!

[ usually Tony is the one carrying Steve, and not like this. the engineer's arms flail a little bit as he tries to let his body catch up to his brain and end up with one arm around Steve's shoulders.]

Are you-- oh my god Steve.

Am I what? Sweeping you off your feet? I think I'm doing a pretty good job.

[ Steve doesn't sound the least bit contrite as he holds Tony up in his arms. It certainly put a stop to the other man's boasting, and that was what he wanted to do. There was only so much of Tony's attempts at showing off he could take before he had to push back, and luckily Steve knows what it takes to get Tony off balance. He smirks, clearly amused by his own trick. ]

Not so great with the footwork after all, hm? You look like you could use a hand. Maybe I should take you home and let you rest up.

Literally yes, yes you are.

[ his words are tinged with laughter and just a bit of something else as the blond hauls him easily. not that it is a surprise, just-- there has been a shift, and even with the sting of Loki leaving still fresh, Tony can't help the flickers that Steve fans.

and the blond keeps making it worse (better?) and Tony knows that there is a an almost flush on his face, even as he smirks and tries for coy with his next words.]

Excuse me? Hard to show you my footwork when you're carrying me there, Rogers. But I have to know, are you asking to take me to bed? My 'footwork' is just as good there if that is what you are trying to imply.

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